Believe it or not
A star fell on 1/29/06,

"I have to believe it could have been different." ~All the King's Men
Beautiful words. I have to believe it could have been different. If we had been different, it all could have been different. There is no one to blame but yourself, but thats exactly how you want it. You want to believe that if you had been better you could have changed it all. That everything isn't just a total accident of genetics, god or just a bunch of nerves. That there is no such thing as fate. That you have control of your destiny.

But is that really true?

But then, the truth doesn't matter, because I have to believe it could all be different.

Smart one
A star fell on 1/28/06,

I've finally put up a new a new layout. I'm quite happy with it myself. Leave me a comment if you like it, or if you don't.

Maybe its better to be a good person than it is to be a genius. Maybe being nice should be enough. I always obsess over my own intelligence. I always feel like I'm the dumbest person in the room. I know I'm not. I ended up in the 99% percentile for my practice ACT. I got into all four levels (aka, honors classes at my school that you test into) besides math. So why do I always feel so stupid? I guess it has to do with the guy I like. He's brilliant, possibly one of the smartest guy I've ever actually had a conversation with. Academically, the only thing I'm better at is English. But around him I feel like an idiot most of the time. He doesn't know that I suck in chemistry to the point where I ended the quarter with a C, and would he even talk to me if he knew? He values intelligence that much. It leaves me completely insecure. I know I shouldn't be this way about it, but I am.
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